I just need to put this on the internet somewhere

Personally, one of the highlights of my last relationship was receiving a blowjob while eating a steak and watching a hockey game on TV. I just enjoyed the food and watched the game, making a point of ignoring what was going on down below. This drove her nuts, and she kept trying to elicit a response until she eventually put a finger up my ass to massage my prostate and I blew my load at the exact moment that my hockey team scored. It was like the stars and planets all aligned for one perfect second. The steak was overcooked though, I was really the culinary master of the two of us.

-/u/Muqaddima

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Some kids take things a little too literally.
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Some kids take things a little too literally.

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Tags: LOL

And then I died happily.

(Source: reddit.com)

pleatedjeans:

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pleatedjeans:

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Tags: lol instagram

On your toes...

  • Me: What do you do?
  • Her: I'm a writer. A magazine writer/editor. Preferably food magazines.
  • Me: Can you write anything?
  • Her: Yes I can. Watch me: Anything. See, I wrote it.
  • Me: [oh_you.jpg]
  • Her: :) anytime
  • Me: Wanna be my copywriter?
  • Her: You know, men have asked me to be a lot of things but I can honestly say that a copywriter is a first...
  • Me: I like to keep you on your toes...

benglert:

tlai:

Team Ferosha: Import Model Edition
 

Nice Lexus. Gotta get someone to do this for my car…

Fine Ben, if you neeeeeeed it I will do it.

Tags: 121212 lol

Uploading gifs to tumblr is like trying to get pandas to mate.

WHY THE FUCK…. is Pokemon so strongly associated with the word “clitoris”

Word cloud created at: http://www.jasondavies.com/wordcloud/

WHY THE FUCK…. is Pokemon so strongly associated with the word “clitoris”

Word cloud created at: http://www.jasondavies.com/wordcloud/

So I decided to take up watercolor, with no training whatsoever.

So I decided to take up watercolor, with no training whatsoever.